( I began to read the book "The Cambridge Companion to Postmodern Theology". It is a very good book. Sometimes, however, I feel that I don't have a strong theological knowledge to grasp what the author is saying. When that happens I have to turn on my 'intuition' and appreciate instead of grasp. And when that happens I get a bit frustrated, as if I don't have the skill to understand the subject.
And then another thought comes to mind: why do I want so much knowledge? Isn't it time to stop buying books and practicing more what I already know? Would I be hiding behind the books, valuing their posesion more than their content? Still, something inside of me drives me toward learning more, researching more, asking more questions, not settling with known answers. But I get angry with those who speak of something without going through similar process. Why do I want to make things more complicated? Why do I get angry with those who settle for simplicity? And yet, when the subject is complicated I don't have the tools to reply properly.
Sometimes I feel paralysed with the plenthora of resources available. My book queue is too big. And then there are the books I want to read again! And then there are the books I want to write about, but their message is fading away in my memory.
Sometimes I suspect of the authors. I suspect they are wrong. I suspect they may sound right now but I'll find in a month another argument that will make more sense.
Then I remember a quote of Wittgenstein at the last page of a book by Boff: "Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent."